letter · poetry

You, You, You

If I had a reason
to live
to breathe
it would be to love you.
To give you this heart
that would be lifeless
without you.
I was nothing more
than a shell of skin
and bone
until I met you,
and then I knew,
if there was a purpose
for every ending,
if there was a reason
for each broken heart
and tear,
if there was a hope
for something better,
or a wish
for something new,
I found it all in you.
And each mistake
and every heartache
has led me here
to you,
and I would live them all
a thousand times,
if every time
I was so lucky
as to know you,
as to love you,
in the end.

letter · new years resolution · poetry

Psychic Instability

Is this the price of my pride?
I need a diversion
a distraction
a departure
from this delusion
these fevered dreams
I got so lost in –
your harrowing illusion.
A spell to break
the hex
you have on me.
The visions of regret
that overcome me.
My recurring insecurity
that without you
I am nothing.
Your crippling anguish
your stoic indifference
my cries of frustration
my degrading persistence
my physical
to the end.
But in the shameful
spirit of  failure
you win –
I just want out of this nightmare.

letter · new years resolution · poetry


I tied your memories around me
little ribbons
floating out like wires
electric elements
with potential
writhing all around me
sparking visions
of what we were
but all this detail is delusion
bolting through my brain
like déjà vu
knowing that I knew
but not recalling
what I knew
as they unwind
and fall from me
leaving me bare
and burning for you.


letter · new years resolution · poetry

Make Believe

Tears on the sunrise
my fears in the limelight
you are all I never needed
yet all I’ll ever want.
You’ll never want me.
And I don’t know who I am
Or what I want to be
but I know it doesn’t matter
without someone beside me
and I don’t know why I’m here
or why you speak to me
when you couldn’t care less
well, I couldn’t bear less
than your everything.
But we’ve gotten so
good at pretending
that I no longer
what’s real.