letter · new years resolution

darkness

Dear Heart,

Dark places, my love; I’d been living in dark spaces where the wounds never ceased to bleed, seeking out the promises the light had failed to deliver. Aching to be delivered from the misery. Desperate for something – anything – to save me. And, caught up the recklessness of finding relief, I ignored the reality before me: this would cause nothing but harm. Yet I persisted. I sought out what I knew with every part and parcel of my being was wrong — I longed for, no, I lusted after my own destruction; I fell right into him in depraved abandon and I enjoyed every moment with guilty pleasure. Oh, it was sick, darling; it was entirely perverse and twisted. And all of this… this is who I am. Can you accept that?

 

Yours,

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2 thoughts on “darkness

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