letter · new years resolution

cognizance

My Dear,

How do I speak? After so long, how do I speak? How do I say that, for all the fullness time has brought to my life, it has not managed to fill in the shape of you? That my soul is still wrapped around the ache of your absence, as though the years do not stand between us. That I have tried so hard to forget you, but cannot find a way forward or around you. That beneath this carefully constructed composure, from within the confines of this life that I have painstakingly built so as to prove my autonomy, I have wanted more than to have you near. I have been so deeply missing you, mi querido. Each and every piece and part of you. How do I tell you, my love, that my heart was made for you? That it has always been waiting here for you. That it always will be…

I wouldn’t have to speak at all, if you would only see me.

 

Yours,

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