letter · new years resolution · prose


My Dear,

I’m turning myself inside out trying to find the music in this quiet cacophony. And I’m running out of time; the longer I linger in silence, the farther away you become. Silence — I can never seem to escape it. The only thing that truly keeps me from you. My frozen-tongued fear that the truth will make you mute. Your incurious indifference. You see, I didn’t expect to discover that what I thought had disappeared seems to have grown. Or have you always filled so much space? Have I always carried you, hidden so deeply within me that I forgot to feel your presence? I’m taken by those first, vibrant feelings as though they never left me. Just as on that first day, when our voices and minds hummed in synchrony. In the quiet melody of that moment when those three little words were first whispered. I ache for you now with the same force as I did at our first parting; I miss you so much that it wounds. Nothing directly in front of me has ever seemed so far away — how do I reach you? How do I make you remember my significance? How do I navigate the silence and find our fugue? I must take the chance and sing. But you must sing with me if we hope to find any harmony.




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