journal · letter · prose


My Dear,

It feels like a lifetime has passed since we parted ways. So much has happened and so much has changed. I’m not even sure if I’m still the girl you knew. Yet you remain the same. I’d almost forgotten what you meant to me, as the years sailed by. Time sunk into my memory and softened it, blurring its edges. But suddenly there you were, so vivid in my minds eye, as I was driving down the road toward home. And I was hit with the full force of all those feelings which had been lingering so faintly; of my vast and unending love for you, of my captivation with your mind and your soul. It was as if time had rewound itself and I was that girl again, suffused with emotion and missing you as if life had no color without your presence. I had no choice but to seek you out. What can I say? I gravitate toward you, I always have. Drawn, as if by some irresistible force, some overpowering propulsion toward the sensation of familiarity, an empathic recognition. The certainty that you understand me, that we understand each other. That we always have, from the first “Hello.” No one ever got me like you got me. And no one ever had me like you had me. And no one ever loved me like you loved me. That minuscule moment in time when the world felt completely right. It was this time of year, when we met. When my heart discovered something it had never known before. And as I talk to you now, my heart knows it again. I’ve never loved another like I’ve loved you. So I linger. Remaining until I can linger no more and I sink back into time. Because I’ve missed you, my dear. Because, despite the years and the odyssies they carried, I still love you. So, Merry Christmas, and Happy New Year and, like I always say, I’ll catch you later.

Perhaps, one day, I can keep you as well.



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