journal · prose

Tumbling Tower

I fall, I fall. I feel the emptiness all around me. A palpable, destructive force. You could reach out and touch it. Hold it in your hands. I let out a scream, but only silence answers me. And the void gets voider. I’ll wrap nothing into my arms like a lover and carry on. Perhaps this time I won’t even look back. When what was can never be again. There is only here and now, and the question of the future. Forward is all I have, although the motion is unbearable. I’ll grin and I’ll bear it with a tolerant smile. It’s nothing more than I deserve. It’s just that I have nothing left to fill in these cracks. I watch the walls crumble and am utterly destroyed. A static creature in an ever-turning world. I’d reach out to touch your face, if I could. A soft caress. A true attempt to love you in the way I should. I wanted to. But all I’ve done and all I am is wrong. I ache, I break, I wish that time would take me in it’s healing arms… to forget. But I do not deserve that. Or you. Goodbye.


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