journal · poetry

Pendulum

Indecisively
I swing
violently.
A pendulum of
ambivalence,
and call to your
indifference.
A simple request to
restore or restart
or regress.
But I must
digress now,
pro-gress now.
Because
even the best of us
can be denied
a second chance,
that second glance
of love
and I was
nowhere near that,
too caught up in fear
and panic
that the truth would cause
these walls to crumble.
How ironic to think it
when each and every time
the world is always
set a-tumble
by a lie,
and this is why
there’s always trouble.
Because I feel
before I think
and end up in the rubble
of broken promises
and dreams.
Fraying at the edges
and splitting
at the seams
with the weight of my
unspoken words between us
like a chasm.
But even in this moment
though my heart aches
with the spasm
of this enduring loss
I must believe that
where love is concerned
there is never too high a cost
to pay.
Yet I am no closer
to this decision
than when I began
this display.

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