journal · letter

A vow, a promise, left unspoken.

I love you.
Fiercely, passionately, insanely. Raw. Yet so softly. Effused with calm. If the whole world were falling down around us and I had the choice to do only one thing before we crashed and burned, it would be to grab you in my arms and let you know, without a word, the vast and endless feelings that my heart encompasses for you. The very thing which poets have tried for all the ages and failed, failed again, to accurately represent. It is incomprehensible to words, and to me, to have been so lucky to have found my Only. Knowing me for simply me, letting me be exactly who I am, and loving all of me just the same. It is not something I take lightly. So as hard as it might be, I will put my faith in that. In your love and the hope for our future, a life together that will outshine all other lives lived in love. I am giving you my belief that you will love me forever, every forever until the very last and beyond. Because I will. My heart and soul laid bare by yours, in your hands, in your power. To do with what you will. And I pray that there will never come a time when you no longer want them for your own. With you they are home. I am home. “You will find your home, although it will not be where you left it.” And I have found it. I hear it while listening to you speak, in your witty sarcasm, your tired whispers. I see it in your face, the lines and scars of your body. I know it with the beating of my heart, the blood coursing through my veins. My solace, my shelter. My harbor and raging ocean all at once. And not in the least where I thought it would be. Where I ever could have fathomed to find it. Searching in all of the wrong places for all of the right things, for so long, but coming, at last, to rest with you and know the kind of peace that people would overturn their worlds to have. Thrashing through their lives in helpless longing. With you I am no longer helpless. You give me the strength to try and be anything, because no matter how I fly or miserably fall, you will be there to catch me. To love me. To hold me in my times of need. To help heal the wounds that not even time dared to touch. And shape me into something so much more than I ever could have been on my own. By letting me be my own. So thank you. Thank you, thank you. For everything you have done and everything you might ever do. I am yours. There is no until. Nothing will ever break that bond. Nothing will ever make me let you go.

Better late than never?


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