Today I managed to leave this room, which was more than I managed yesterday. Closure is a magical thing, helping to propel one forward when it looks as though forward does not exist. I have my highs and lows, mostly lows lately, but in my better moments I somehow complete tasks and make decisions. That is something, I suppose. I hear and have previously experienced that time does, in fact, lessen burdens and ease pain. But I am not certain that I will move past this, yet. The vice-like grip of my love for you on my heart will not loosen its hold. Will it be the death of me? Only time will tell. And I feel that I must see your face. Gaze upon my love, my loss, my tragedy. Perhaps, if I’m bold enough, I might reach out and touch you, know the feel of this man whom I have taken into my soul, before the end of things. Search your face for the absence of feeling, and find another kind of closure in the solidity of flesh and reality. Why are you such a damnably beautiful, heart wrenching creature? People probably think I’m crazy, speaking the way I do about you. I would say to them that love transcends all limits and boundaries. That the heart was not given a choice. I do not care what they think, anyway. I love you, and that is just the way of things. I miss your voice, these days, my love. I miss your presence in my heart, in my life. Simply put, I just miss you. I miss you and my heart keeps missing beats for you. I hope you are well. I hope you will be well, in the end.
All my love,