journal · poetry

Waiting

It’s just not enough to hold onto.
When I look, I’m looking through you.
It’s not the time passing by
That makes me want to cry
It’s the waiting,
waiting here for you.
Waiting here for something new
Until the sky is green and the grass is blue
I’m waiting
Always waiting here for you.
But you remain unmoved
You don’t see the meaning
And I remain unseen.
So when I look,
All that I see is the view
Of your backside as I’m looking through you
Of your thoughts as they float on through
While I’m left waiting,
Waiting here for you.
Your heart is my vice
Your dispassion cuts me like a knife
I look to the past to set me free
But I know that it can never be
Once more.
The words got tied up and they walked out the door
Left me so broken and sick and heart sore
While I’m waiting.
I’m waiting as these words are scrawled,
I’m waiting for my fears to stall,
For these anxious, agitated tears to fall
And I’m waiting for the words that I thought I always knew
The ones that I had always hoped would be from you
But now I see
That they might not have been for me
But the apotheosis of what I once was
Before life stepped in to settle the score.
But I’m still waiting.
Until the sky bleeds and the ground bursts through
I will be waiting,
Waiting here for you.
Because you’re all that I have to hold on to.

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